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Maybe for your entertainment, but I thought I would pass this one along. In divorce cases we often get, how to say, “nudies.” Is that how you spell that? Photographs of a spouse in a “revealing position.” The use or threat of use of these photos is supposed to be some kind of leverage upon us – that is, if we represent wife of whom these pictures are taken. Oh no, they got photos of my client posing in her birthday suit! Run for the hills! We are beaten! No, not at all and it is no leverage. Why? Because it was the husband who took the pictures. It was all part of the “marital fun” prior to the beginnings of the dissolution. This kind of marital activity is far more common that many would think.

In a case last year, a photo of this nature, in a sense, became useful. But it was not necessarily a “pose.” My client, mother, had undergone a number of surgeries in order to repair the effects of child birth. The opposing lawyer intended to use this as leverage upon us. Oh Lord, we shake in our boots. My retort was this: husband’s tool had failed to reach a satisfactory size. In response, he had obtained certain devices that was supposed to enlarge it all. A vacuum driven pump, if you will. Unfortunately, in addition to his size problem he had a drinking issue. So, he hooks the device up to his tool for the recommend period of, how to say, “suction.” Downs several drinks while all of this is going on and passes out on the living room couch. Device, tool and drink. He is obviously in a “pose.” My client takes a picture. Couch, drink, tool, device, pass out, man with pants down — all. Upon hearing all this talk about my client’s corrective surgeries, this supposed leverage, this threat that my client is some kind of bad girl — I slid the photograph over to opposing counsel and said: “take a gander at that.” Opposing counsel’s response – “checkmate.”

We have had all kinds of cases involving photos, toys, fetish, what ever. All the time. The human species can and will engage in many varied “activities.” As long as two consenting adults are involved (sometimes multiple consenting adults), who cares? Do we drag this into the court room? We try to avoid if possible. In another case, husband had videoed wife doing a strip tease. Opposing counsel had tried to leverage us on this by saying “he made her do it, the beast, the bad guy, he is an abusive fellow.” My response, “have you seen the video?” Answer: “no.” My response, “I have, it appears she is having a real nice time, fun time, giggling, laughing, etc. No body made her do anything. Do you really want to put this on?” Case settled.

Our Lord bent down and starting writing in the sand. Her accusers disappeared. John chapter 8.